Post by Angel on Sept 18, 2022 18:59:41 GMT
my partner L and i have been together (in an open relationship) for almost 7 years. We got married last year. L has been dating D for maybe a year and a half now.
L and i have been having issues for a while now. He has stopped having sex with me and sleeps in another room. At first, we believed the issues was about his experimenting with his gender and the issues with identity. I have been very supportive, very patient, open to talking, left resources for L to reach out to if he didn't want to talk to me about it. When nothing seemed to come from the gender experimenting and we were still having issues, i thought maybe, it was just stress, and some performance anxiety because L has asthma and smokes. I struggled with the fact that L masturbates frequently, but masturbation is a different kind of activity- like, his sex drive is still there, but it might not be a problem with me, it could be just that it's different from sex and less effort and intimacy is required. when we try to start something, he get erectile dysfunction. a blow to everyone's self esteem im sure. i've asked him to tell me if he's not attracted to me or if he doesn't want to do something, i've said we can use toys and it's not a big deal.
the problem is i can hear L and D having long, loud sex.
It's great that their relationship is doing well and i don't want to interfere with that
but obviously it puts our relationship in contrast and makes me feel even worse
i don't know what to do
it seems like i'm the only one putting any effort into saving our relationship
L and i have been having issues for a while now. He has stopped having sex with me and sleeps in another room. At first, we believed the issues was about his experimenting with his gender and the issues with identity. I have been very supportive, very patient, open to talking, left resources for L to reach out to if he didn't want to talk to me about it. When nothing seemed to come from the gender experimenting and we were still having issues, i thought maybe, it was just stress, and some performance anxiety because L has asthma and smokes. I struggled with the fact that L masturbates frequently, but masturbation is a different kind of activity- like, his sex drive is still there, but it might not be a problem with me, it could be just that it's different from sex and less effort and intimacy is required. when we try to start something, he get erectile dysfunction. a blow to everyone's self esteem im sure. i've asked him to tell me if he's not attracted to me or if he doesn't want to do something, i've said we can use toys and it's not a big deal.
the problem is i can hear L and D having long, loud sex.
It's great that their relationship is doing well and i don't want to interfere with that
but obviously it puts our relationship in contrast and makes me feel even worse
i don't know what to do
it seems like i'm the only one putting any effort into saving our relationship